I want to share one of the most important parenting lessons I’ve learned—one that will truly REVOLUTIONIZE the way you mother. Now, “revolutionize” might be a strong word, but trust me, this tip will make a massive impact on your parenting.

After parenting for nearly three decades, I’ve done plenty of things right—and a lot of things not so right. My hope is to pass on some wisdom so you can avoid making some of the mistakes I did.

This lesson on follow-through is something I actually learned before I even became a mom. It started when I was a fresh-out-of-college teacher, placed in a sixth-grade classroom where most of my students were bigger than me. I quickly realized that if I wanted to earn their respect, it wasn’t enough to simply tell them what to do—I had to follow through with action. Empty threats will lose their respect—every single time.

Don’t Speak It Out, If You Can’t Walk It Out

The key principle? Don’t speak it out if you can’t walk it out. In other words, don’t say things you’re not willing to back up with action.

In my classroom, that meant if I said, “No talking right now,” but didn’t enforce it, my students learned that my words didn’t hold weight. Without consequences, they had no reason to take me seriously.

And this same principle is essential in parenting.

My Nine-Month-Old Taught Me a Hard Lesson

I remember when my daughter Abi was just nine months old. She was an early walker, and one day, she toddled toward the VCR (yes, that ancient machine that played movies). I told her, “No, no, don’t touch.”

She stopped. Looked at me. And then kept going.

Again, I said, “No, Abi.”

But she didn’t listen. Why? Because she had already learned that my words didn’t matter—only my actions did. Until I stood up and moved her away from the VCR, she knew she could ignore me because my spoken words held no value. (Just to be clear… This has nothing to do with corporal punishment.)

That moment was a wake-up call. I had trained my daughter to wait and see if I was actually going to do anything before she obeyed.

From then on, I knew: If I wasn’t willing to follow through, I shouldn’t say it in the first place.

What This Looks Like in Real Life

This principle applies to everything—chores, discipline, even how we phrase our instructions.

For example, if I tell my kids, “You need to make your bed,” but I don’t have time to enforce it, then my words lose power. Instead, I had to rephrase: “Can you make your bed?” If I was asking, I needed to treat it like a request. But if it was an expectation, I had to be ready to ensure it happened.

Kids need clarity. They need to know: Are you suggesting, or are you requiring?

Are you ASKING or TELLING?

And most importantly, they need to know they can trust your words.

Why This Matters for Their Faith

Ultimately, this isn’t about running a military-style household where every rule is enforced with an iron fist. It’s about building trust.

We want our children to trust God’s Word, right? We want them to know that when God speaks, He follows through. But if they grow up in a home where Mom words don’t mean much, why would they believe that God’s words do?

If we only follow through 50% of the time, our kids will do the mental math: “Eh, there’s a 50/50 chance Mom will actually do anything. I’ll take my chances.”

But when they know that what we say always leads to action, they learn that words mean something. They learn to trust, to listen, and to obey—not just for fear of consequences, but because they know we are reliable.

Practical Tips for Follow-Through

1. Be intentional with your words. If you can’t enforce it, don’t say it.
2. Make expectations clear. Are you asking, or are you requiring? Your kids should know the difference.
3. Take action quickly. If you tell them to do something, be ready to follow up.
4. Be consistent. The more consistent you are, the less they’ll test the limits.

Bottom Line: Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

If you can’t walk it out, don’t speak it out.

Your kids need to know that your words have weight. That they can trust you. That when you say something, it matters.

And when they learn to trust you, they’ll be better equipped to trust God.

Being a mom who is trustworthy means raising children who feel secure, knowing what to expect in their home. No more guessing which version of mom will show up—idle-threat mom or the one who lays out clear expectations and follows through. Consistency builds trust, and trust nurtures obedience. If you can master this one area, you will reap huge benefits.

Commit to this one simple (not easy) yet powerful guideline: “Don’t speak it out unless you can walk it out.” When our words align with our actions, we create an atmosphere where respect, obedience, and trust flourish.